You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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