decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
