Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm just crazy horny about you
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
