people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
