The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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