I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
