Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
