you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It's official drugs can't kill me
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
