Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
