Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
