pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
