IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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