I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
