Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
