how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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