the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Come see our sink grown plant.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
