This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize