I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
