god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
