Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
