its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
