I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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