There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
