well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
