TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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