So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
