yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
