Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
