fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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