i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
