it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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