Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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