Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
