He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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