Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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