I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
