so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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