just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
