i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
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