He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Randomize
