i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
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