I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
two words...techno handjob
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
