I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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