brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Randomize