not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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