Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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