I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You made out with two different species that night
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
