I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
