Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
