Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
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