the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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