I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
