i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
