i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Randomize
