So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
