How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
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