She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
