remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize