yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
