Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
