i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
