I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
