If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Who wears a wallet chain?!
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
