Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
