Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
