and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
