One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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