I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
We're too hungover to prance.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
