kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
